Canned

I’m getting canned.

They’re gonna can me.  I think.  Maybe not.  But it could happen.  Here’s the thing.  Years ago, James (successful mortgage banker) and I (unemployed) sat at a restaurant discussing the business and whether or not I could be the assistant…

It was the usual stuff…he had me model pouring his coffee.  “I’ll do it like this, see?  Tilt it just so to make sure I don’t spill?”  I called it an interview.  He always says, “It wasn’t an interview.”  During that conversation, he made the comment that among my other duties of making copies and taking his pants to the cleaners, I could bring him some business.  You know, like, tell people about him and whatnot.  Of course I can do that! 

I’m charming!  I love to chat!  I can sell!

I have never brought him one loan.

Not. One.

I think James and Chad have had to do cash-out refinances on their own homes just to keep me hired.  I saw their financial ledger once and the column under my name was in red. 

If I lose this job, I’ll end up procreating, and then this will have to become another baby blog.  “Oh look, Junior made a poopy in his diaper today!  Here are ten pictures of Junior’s poopy diaper!”  Face it readers, none of us want that.  We don’t want it for me, we don’t want it for you, and we certainly don’t want it for Junior.

Here’s what I need.  One loan.  One.  Loan.  People buy houses every day.  People refinance their homes every day. And a lot of those people use my bosses to get the loans.  But they come on their own, not through me.  Just once, in the “referred by” section of the loan application, I want someone to write boldly, in RED, “CHRISTINA LEDBETTER REFERRED ME! And she has the BEST hair!”  Okay, you don’t have to write the hair part.  But I do have great hair.

Here nor there.  If you hear of anyone house hunting or interested in a refinance, tell them about my bosses.  Then show them how to spell my name for the “referred by” section.

J-U-S-T – T-H-E – A-S-S-I-S-T-A-N-T