I Have a Financial Secret
There is something very important about me that you all need to know in order for this relationship to work.
I am in love.
With a magazine.
Once a month, my Glamour magazine comes in the mail, and for the week afterward, every conversation I have with other humans will involve something I learned in Glamour.
“You want to have lunch, you say? That sounds great because Glamour magazine just told me how to order at a restaurant and take control and own my plate of food and I’d love to go to lunch!”
“You want me to stuff those envelopes for you? Of course I will – and did you notice I am dressed even better than most assistants because Glamour magazine said that’s what power women do and I might even be president one day?”
Well, yesterday was the day. Currently I’m halfway through and I already know what skirt is best for my shape (they always encourage short gals to dress a little more risqué to look more grown up), plus I’ve been warned not to be a cyber bully. The cyber bully article was all about these people who’ve had their life ruined because people told them they’re worthless on MySpace.
And it made me wonder, do the Bosses go home at night and cry in the dark with heavy metal music playing because their assistant’s blog post made fun of them? What if Rachelle cuts all her hair off because I said it was big on the Internet? What if they all write dark poetry about me?
Am I a cyber bully?
I quickly flipped the page to next article. They asked all these women “What’s your financial secret?” and all these ladies confessed to hiding new dresses from their husbands in the dog food bag and pawning off grandma’s jewelry to pay the Nordstrom card, and it said in bold “EVERYBODY has one!” And I thought, “Well that’s just not true Glamour magazine because I don’t have a financial secret. I’m responsi –
Uh Oh.
I forgot about that one thing.
I missed two mortgage payments last year.
I know, I know. Fingers in ears, “Lalalalalala I can’t hear you!”
Here’s the thing. I’ve always used the automatic withdrawal feature because I know good and well I won’t remember to make payments. Well, last November I kept getting scary answering machine messages from this man saying he had an important business matter to discuss with me.
Let’s get something straight buddy, I’m just the assistant. Nobody has important business matters to discuss with me. But I finally called the number back, you know, just waiting on them to sell me something so I can say “Ah HAH! You’re a SCAM!”
But that’s not what happened. He was a collection agency man. A very angry collection agency man.
Collection Agency. For me, the one who works at the mortgage bank. Turns out a few months prior I had been clicking around on my servicing bank website, and I happened to click the random very important button that stops the automatic withdrawals. It’s so tricky! At any given moment throughout the work day I have a business-ish website open, plus a clothing website open. I can view the thumbnails of ten dresses and decide which ones I like in the time it takes for business websites to turn to the next boring page. And only sometimes do I get mixed up and click the wrong thing.
And my servicing bank was so unhelpful and apparently “We’re sure it was an honest mistake and you thought you were buying a new top and no we won’t remove the charges if you send us chocolates.” Hmph.
So here’s what I’d like to find out. How did that affect my credit score? And because the Bosses have done all my own home loans, I happened to have my credit score from my last loan right here! In March 2009, my three credit scores were:
743
734
766
Since then, other than the two missed mortgage payments, I’ve paid all my bills on time, and haven’t taken out any other loans. My plan is to ask the Bosses to pull my credit again tomorrow and analyze the results. I’ll report back to you all as soon as I find out the scoop.
In the meantime, I’m going to go onto cyber-bullies anonymous and get some tools for making amends with that collection agency man.
Just the Assistant 