I Hope the Bosses Like Whiskey

“I’m in big trouble.”  Why the quotes?  Because that’s straight from my notes I just took during the training on the new marketing tool corporate rolled out.  EMMA can stuff envelopes.  One of two things needs to happen, quick-like.

1.  I’m going to have to find a way to prove to the Bosses that my envelope stuffing skills are superior to EMMA’s so that they don’t put me on the street.


2.   I need to bring the Bosses a loan.  Actually I’d consider myself in the hole on loans, so if I could bring them about thirty loans I think that’d be helpful.


3.  I need to start spiking the Bosses’ coffees with whiskey so that they associate me with good feelings.  Then when they have business meetings and one asks the other, “Christina…the assistant…why do we have her again?” the other can reply…“Honestly, I don’t know…but for some reason I just feel really good about keeping her around.”

I need a boost.  I just received this month’s Glamour Magazine in the mail and it’s encouraging me to give myself a compliment.  I’m not kidding; it’s full of stuff like that. Here it goes…


Okay okay…that’s not what they’re looking for.

I…am…saving eight people a ton of money.

How?  I’ll tell ya!  My Boss Chad came up with this ridiculous idea a few months ago.  It started out as a normal idea, but as things tend to do in Chad’s mind, it snowballed into “Are you kidding me?” territory.

Here’s the thing.  Somehow, Chad discovered that one of his dear past clients had not filed for the Homestead Exemption on her taxes.  This is just a form you fill out once you own a home.  You send it in to the appraisal district, and bada bing, after the first full year you’ve lived in the home, you get a big break on your property taxes.  Seriously, it’s huge – my own taxes went down $1000 after I’d lived in my home the first year.  Do you know how many scarves that bought me?

So, that triggered Chad’s normal idea.  He asked me to send out an e-mail to all our clients who closed on loans in the past year, remind them of this great tax exemption, and even attach the form.  So nice of him, right?  The folks all wrote back, thanking us and saying how wonderful we are.

But here’s where he went bonkers.  The idea was just too good to leave alone.  He had to make it bigger.  Excerpt from Chad’s next e-mail to me (supplemented with my own observations):

“Then, as a back-burner project, let’s [“let’s” means me] go thru all of our clients that we have closed loans for the last couple of years [bold font my own for emphasis on the craziness], starting with 2009, to make sure they have filed their homestead exemption.  It doesn’t take long at all [yes it did] and we could save a lot of money for those that we find who haven’t.  My thoughts are this is January project, unless you just got bored and have time sooner.”

Like I said people, I’m Just the Assistant.  I do what I’m told.  But as it turned out, I found EIGHT people who hadn’t filed.  I actually felt so bad for the folks that I went through loans closed in 2008 to see if there were more – and there were!

So, while I’m busy spreading good fortune to these people, I could use a couple of favors from you all.

  1. If you have owned your home (and lived in it) since January 1, 2010, take a gander at your tax bill and make sure it reads “Homestead Exemption.”  If it doesn’t say that, contact your county appraisal district, and promptly send me flowers.
  2. Mention this post to anyone who owns a home, and ask them to send me flowers too.

I’m off to buy whiskey…