Please send soup
Big day! Chad and Rachelle are boarding a plane for Florida right this minute! This is due to the Circle of Excellence (sounds kind of Lord of the Rings, huh?) award he won a few months back.
I have requested he take pictures for me, and gave him a very specific list of what I’d like to see. In no particular order:
- Fancy food
- Airplane food
- Chad and Rachelle dressed up
- Rachelle’s Big Texas Hair
- Boat trip adventures
- Awkward moments/Awkward Speakers
- Anyone important
- Chad in a Speedo
I have also requested he and Rachelle drop my name often, and gave them cue cards reading “Oh Christina is going to love [fill in blank with anything people are presently doing/seeing/eating] next year when she gets invited on the Circle of Excellence trip to Naples, Florida!” Oh I hope they don’t screw this up for me.
While the common urge is to downplay what we don’t get in life (“Who wants to go to Florida anyway?), I cannot do that. I desperately want to go on a business trip. Well, I actually just want to tell people about going on a business trip. I can work it into a variety of different settings:
- Party: “Oh I’d love a crab cake …in fact these crab cakes are the exact same ones they offered me on my last business trip. How ironic!”
- Hanging with girlfriends: “Girl, I love hanging out with you. It’s so much better than all these business trips I’m going on lately.”
- Talking to Bosses about something I’m behind on because I think it’s boring: “I know, I know, Boss. And I would’ve had that to you yesterday, but I’m up to my ears in business trips…please cut me some slack.”
The possibilities are endless. For now, I have two coping mechanisms at my disposal. One is the whole, “What a blessing I wasn’t asked to go on this trip because it wouldn’t have worked out anyway,” routine. And it’s true. I’m sick. Tissues litter my desk, I’m seeing two screens right now due to blurred vision, and I’m pretty sure fancy beach drinks wouldn’t mix well with my antibiotics.
Coping mechanism number two is the “I’m not in this job for the perks…I’m here because I want to be” tactic. Again, true.
Here’s the thing. A few weeks ago I was happily shopping at Anthropologie, taking my time, pulling things I knew I couldn’t afford into the dressing room just for the fun of it, chatting it up with the sales girl about how we’re both named Christina, and it happened. Christina, the sales girl, offered me a job at Anthropologie.
I sort of stumbled into the mirror in gratitude and shock with my hand on my chest asking, “Me?”
Okay, I’m not making this next part up. She actually said, “I need people like you – you’ve got style…” [at this point she motioned to the outfit I was wearing which was made up of clothes she had suggested I try on…I hadn’t even bought them yet, but still].
I was flattered. But when she mentioned the discount, I was interested. Alas, my interest lasted about four seconds. Truth is, I could never leave my Bosses. They’re just too kind. When James gives me my quarterly reviews he always asks, “What’s your goal here?” and every time my answer has been, “Just to keep being your assistant!”
In the meantime, I’d like to give a shout out to everyone headed to Florida. Congratulations! And don’t worry about things here on the home front – I’ve got it all under control. Actually I don’t – I’m sick remember? Promise I’ll get caught up Monday, and if I don’t, I certainly won’t be using a business trip as an excuse.