My Big Break

This is even bigger than the time my insurance guy came to the office to have me sign papers.  Are you ready?

I am going on a business lunch.

I never even go out on non-business lunches.  In order to fund my shopping habit, I eat peanut butter sandwiches and fruit at my desk.  Every other person on the team goes on business lunches.  Not me.

Chad must’ve lost a bet with James (it probably involved a flowchart of sorts).  I can think of no other reason he’d invite me on a business lunch.  I passed by Chad’s office earlier and he was praying.  And I heard a few snippets…”don’t let her mess this up…I’ll do anything…I’ll stop playing golf.”

Okay, that didn’t happen, but I’m listening very closely at his door with a glass at my ear just in case he’s up to any funny business.   I’m pretty sure this business lunch is the jumpstart my career has been waiting for.  Business lunches are the logical next step to ensure I secure the role of executive assistant one day.

Prep time.  We’re going out with a realtor.  I’m so glad it’s a woman, because I don’t know how the talking points I’ve prepared would go over with a man:

• What is she going to order?  (I can retrofit this topic later into “Did you like what you ordered?”  Bam.  That’s a twofer one)
• Does she think the new Loreal 3 in 1 eye shadow will really work like the ads show?

• Trousers
• Hair products
• Has she ever watched “I Survived…” and did she see the one where the lady had a ninja hiding in her attic for three days?

I’m going to leave any other conversation up to Chad.

Food:  Though I love a burger, I will not order anything that I can’t put into my mouth with a utensil.  Ordering anything on a bun is the quickest way to get food in my teeth and I can’t mess this up.  If I prove to the Bosses that I’m well behaved and charming on this lunch, who knows what it could lead to?  “Envoy Mortgage, this is Christina the Executive Assistant speaking…how may I help you?”

Please don’t let this be a place that offers six different types of water; I’ll panic.  I’m a tap water girl.  If I end up with some strange disease in twenty years from drinking regular water, you can all tell me you told me so.  Until then, I’m saving my cash for cute clothes.  And speaking of clothes…

Do you think I can log my hours of shopping for a new outfit on my time sheet?  If it’s online shopping I could probably get by with it.  The ole alt-tab combo can quickly deliver me to a phony flowchart, or faux flow as I call it, in case the Bosses walk by.    Oh kidding.  I’ll shop on my peanut-butter sandwich break.

In case you don’t get peanut-butter sandwich breaks like I do, Click Here for your complimentary “Assistants’ Tools” flowchart.  Happy Shopping.