When to Join your Local Gang

We had a work event last night at my boss Chad’s house.  I arrived three hours early in my pajamas to help clean and set up.  I thought I’d be the only one there.

I was not the only one there.  I had to chop pears in my jammies in my boss’s kitchen while he stood beside me slicing tenderloin.  Good times.  Thankfully I’d brought my cute Anthro party skirt to change into after pear chopping.

Later in the night I chatted with a realtor about how to know when an area of town is about to get hot and you can make loads of money from buying there.  She didn’t know, and I didn’t know, so we didn’t get much further than, “Some people just know.  It’s so weird!  They just know where to buy!  How do they do that!?” 

My own theory is that if you find a neighborhood with decent looking houses, just enough Crip or Blood (but not MS13) activity to make it edgy and cool but not straight up gang territory, and a handful of super rich people willing to knock down a few homes and build their dream mansion next to a crack-house, you’ve got yourself an opportunity. 

My first house was like that.  Super cheap, cute little brick house, great yard, nice neighbors, scary bar and liquor store down the street and just close enough to some meth-lab apartments that I was slightly fearful for my life walking alone at night.  Once, I looked out my window and there was a man asleep in my front yard.  In my front yard.  I sold that house two years after buying it and made a boatload of money from the sale.  The buyers were are all like, “Oh look at the drunken man sleeping in the yard!  We’re so hip!”   I bought another house in the exact same neighborhood with my profit because I’m not above wanting to feel hip myself.

I have a point in all this.  It’s this:  Remember to not wear pajamas to your boss’s house.  I’m kidding.  It’s really this:  Right now home prices are still low due to all the hoo ha that I don’t understand that’s been going on with the market and swindlers and the MS13.  Actually, I don’t know if the MS13 were involved. 

And, interest rates are still low.  I know this because I eavesdropped at the event last night.  You are probably thinking, “Shouldn’t you know because you work for mortgage bankers?”  Well, no.  I don’t.  I know because I eavesdropped.  But hey – I got the scoop for you, didn’t I? 

I’ll leave you with a picture of me and a sweet girl that works on our team, Hayley.  If my bosses provide you with a home loan for your hip home with or without the drunk man asleep in the front yard, Hayley will, among other things, help you with the loan approval.  I’ve got to get around to interviewing her so you all can know what else she does for our team and how she is a rock star loan coordinator. 

Now, I’m off to kindly ask the Crip member to exit my neighbor’s house and put down that flat screen.

One thought on “When to Join your Local Gang

  1. Do you seriously know who MS13 is or have you been watching too much Law & Order: Criminal Intent?

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