What the Editor of Vogue Would like to Chat with You About
I have fallen so passionately in love with organic skin care products that you needn’t be surprised if you soon find me in an organic farmer’s crop field just smearing globs of soil and grass-fed cow manure directly onto my face claiming, “It’s okay…it’s organic!” I just reordered my supply of goodies from Origins and it cost me most of my last paycheck. It all started last year when I complimented a girlfriend on her skin, and she told me how she’d switched to Origins. And I’ll buy anything. So within a week I was reclining awkwardly on a lazy-boy type chair in the middle of Origins, in the middle of the Galleria, wearing a cape on my front side and lapping up every single thing the saleslady told me about how their products would make all my hopes and dreams come true.
I spent three hundred dollars that day. But get this, all my hopes and dreams really did come true. I couldn’t believe it.
To answer the question that may be brewing in your mind, no, I’m not sure that the Bosses don’t mind me using their time to write about wrinkle cream. Which brings me to your next question…should I buy a townhouse?
Here’s the thing. There are some things we just don’t want to give up in life if we don’t have to. For some of you, the thought of buying a house means never buying shoes again because you’ve got to save your cash for in case the roof needs replacing. I totally get it. I’m serious, if owning a house meant I’d have to only use Lever 2000 on my face and never use moisturizer, I’d rent for the rest of my life…or, I’d buy a townhouse.
I love townhouses. The boss on Devil Wears Prada owned a townhouse, and I know she was crazy mean, but still, did you see it!? Townhouses are so cool they deserve a Glamour Magazine style list.
How To Own Vogue Why Townhouses are So Cool
- NO yard work, but possibly comes with a pool that you don’t have to clean. However, there are usually Homeowner Association Dues, so that is something you’d need to budget in.
- Ability to live in a pricey area of town with a non-pricey mortgage. A few years ago I was considering buying a townhouse. At the time I wanted to live in the Heights, and at my price point, I could have either bought an 800 square feet house with one bathroom and no dishwasher, or a 1600 square feet townhouse with two bathrooms, granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. I ended up buying in a different part of town, but had I decided to stay in the Heights, the choice would’ve been easy for me.
- With a townhouse, you own your dwelling, AND you own the land underneath you. This is good because A. Land underneath you requires no lawn-mowing and B. Land underneath you is valuable.
- Your rent doesn’t go up. And if you do decide to pay extra each month, you’re paying yourself, not a landlord.
- You want to paint? Paint!
- You want to remodel the kitchen? Go for it!
- You will feel hip. The editor of Vogue will probably call you to chat about townhouse living every once in a while. She’ll be all, “Hi Darling, don’t you love your kitchen.” And you’ll be all, “Listen, Ms. Vogue, I’d love to chat, but my friends and I are watching The Office here at my townhouse and I’ll have to call you later.”
- You can live next to your office but your mortgage payment will resemble living in a ranch hand’s room in Montana. Your co-workers will complain about a nine-hour commute and you’ll casually reply, “Yeah, I don’t know…my townhouse is like one three blocks from here, so, I’m really sorry about your commute.”
- You can sell it when you decide to move. You know what happens when you move out of an apartment? Nothing. You have to clean it and leave. And you’ve just handed someone a thousand bucks a month for the past however many years of your life. You know what happens when you sell your townhouse? You go to closing. Someone pays you for your home.
- You get the same tax advantages as someone who owns a house. Meaning, any interest you pay on your mortgage for the townhouse can be a tax write-off.
As always, email me or the Bosses with any questions. Now, I’m off to find an unguarded organic carrot harvest.