This morning our team is headed to the corporate office for some brush-up classes concerning our company systems.  I’m not going though.  I know all about our systems, and besides, they aren’t offering any fancy paper-folding classes.  

I’m probably going to start my own Just the Assistant Brush-up classes for all the other assistants out there though.  I’ll have a table lined with coffee and espresso machines and a banner overhead reading:  “Coffee or Espresso:  Master Both for your Boss.”  I’ll demonstrate fancy pouring techniques and everything.

Instead of basic tri-folds, we’ll learn advanced origami and touch on new envelope textures during the “Put a Hold on the Boring Fold” segment. 

And you know they’ll be a fashion hour:  “Anthropologie:  How to Shop at Target Mostly but Make People Think You Get Everything from Anthro by Talking about Anthro Incessantly.”  I’ll probably piggy back my class on the back of that mortgage class Chad’s been teaching and force his audience to stay through my class as well.  “No, I don’t care that you are an engineer and not an assistant.  Now SIT.  DOWN.”

Speaking of Chad, his heart attack burn is much better.  Thank you all for your emails and calls of concern.  My mother is still quite worried about him and continues to inquire if he’s made it to the doctor yet.  Pretty soon I’m just going to patch her calls straight over to his line and make him explain himself to her.  “Chad, call for you.  My mom, line 2.”

Now, off to Costco to buy the coffee pot-espresso-macchiato bundle pack, complete with display table and flip charts.