Office Sweet Office
It’s time for a long awaited follow up from our Search for Office Space. Ladies and gents of the world, the Memorial Branch of Envoy Mortgage has a new home! As you may recall, I had kindly asked the ole Bosses if we could office in the top floor of the Williams Tower (they said no). Alas, I think where we are now is a very close second. Our new home is at 644 E. 11th Street.
It’s lovely having an office in which the whole team can work in together. We now work in a quaint Heights bungalow that’s been converted into office space, complete with front porch and picket fence. It fits perfectly with the ole Bosses’ face to face meetings with clients.
Now, time for the tour! Please put on your audio tour headphones that you will find under your seat. The program will begin…now:
“Welcome to your audio tour of the Memorial Branch of Envoy Mortgage. Press one for a sultry lady voice. Press two for Just the Assistant’s regular creaky, eerie boyish voice.
Please enter through our charming picket fence.
If it is locked, kindly pick up a nearby stone and toss it at that front window on the left (James’ office). In the event that James is wearing his headphones and doesn’t seem to hear you, kindly pick up a significantly larger rock and heave it at the window. There. That should get his attention.
Meander along our little pavement path past the Envoy Mortgage sign.
Carefully ascend the steps to the entrance. At this point we ask that you leave James on the front porch if his head is bleeding from the boulder. We do not want to stain any of the…
White leather couches furnishing the reception area.
Have a seat; relax. Someone will be with you shortly to discuss your home financing options. Actually, Chad has not made it into the office yet this morning, and James is bleeding on the front porch, and Christina doesn’t know a thing about mortgages. On second thought, maybe you should finish the tour alone. Go on. Get up.
Enter our elegant conference room and ignore the lacking coffee situation. The Just the Assistant no longer pours coffee here, and the coffee doesn’t seem to be pouring itself now does it?
Turn your attention to the conference room meeting table.
Here is where the ole Bosses, James Beaver and Chad Helmcamp sit down with folks like you, answer questions, explain different mortgage options, and walk folks like you through the entire mortgage process. A hand holding of sorts, if you will. By simply being present in this room, the warm feelings of past clients will no doubt rub off on you. You will leave this room feeling quite calm, not unlike the feeling one gets after a massage. Do not brush this aside. You want this feeling. You want this mortgage. You are getting verrrry sleeeeepy… Morrrrrrtgage… Morrrrrtgage.
This concludes our hypnosis tour. Please wipe your fingerprints off the boulder, call an ambulance for James, and remove your audio headphones, placing them back under your seat. You might want to leave rather quickly. Good bye.”
Now, I would like to personally invite the following people to visit the office for a Just the Assistant hug. These dear friends helped me spread my last post about looking for more writing work, thus making all my hopes and dreams come true. Stop on b y 644 E. 11th for your prize: Kristin (an Atlanta reader!), Megan, Renee, Anna (Alabama reader!), Benson, Carrie, Fraker, Katie.
If you would like your own complimentary hug and Facebook like button pushing, please share-
Why is James laying on the porch? What are medics doing out there? I have to go.