Well, you can take my picture off the missing/last seen section of junk mail bundles. Besides, don’t you think the way they age progressed my face was creepy?
I took a vacation. The 107 degree weather was wreaking havoc on my frizzy hair, and it was time to visit a milder climate. Now, I didn’t tell you all this for a very specific reason. You are all lovely people. All but one, that is. My burglar reads this blog; I’m sure of it, and I see no need to advertise my absences in case the loon decides to strike again. So it was in my cats’ best interest for me not to mention that I would be spending a week in the mountains, soakin’ it up with my soul mate. I’m back now, I was not eaten by a bear, did not fall off a cliff, and have returned to some fun office gossip…
Here’s the thing. About seven times in my assistant career, I had to talk to a client on the phone. Six of those times sent me into a panic attack. The seventh didn’t only because the client was my husband, and even that was a little scary. I was overjoyed the day Haley came to work here. Hayley is a phone expert, and the ole Bosses recognized this immediately. They heard her on the phone one day and noticed, “Hey, she’s not sweating like Christina does when we ask her to put that flip phone to use. Hey look – she’s not crying either!” From then on I was relieved of pesky phone duties. And I have been madly in love with Hayley ever since.
Apparently, someone else noticed Hayley is a doll as well. And he put a ring on it! Ladies and Gentlemen, our very own Hayley is engaged! I took her into the parlor of our charming bungalow office in order to squeal in excitement together and not disturb the others.
The ring is an unfamiliar addition to her wardrobe, so she is experimenting with new work positions in order to best highlight her new accessory. Below, she tests out work position #4…
Let’s talk wedding gifts. She mentioned something or another about a vacuum cleaner. Do not listen to her. Send loans. The ole Bosses (and everyone else in the office except me) are working hard with all our current nice loans, and they want to keep it up next month. I’ll still be reading Glamour magazine in the background, so don’t worry about over-working me. It can’t be done. But by all means, send all your mortgage needs to Hayley, the ole Bosses, and the rest of the team. Please include a gift receipt. Reception to follow.