Grumps: An Interview with James Beaver

Everyone was super grumpy at the office when I popped in last week.  Turns out, a client was to blame.  I got to the bottom of things with the ole Boss, James Beaver.


An Interview with the ole Boss, James Beaver

Just the Assistant:  First thing’s first, why are you all so grumpy today?

Ole Boss James:  We just need clients to do what we ask them to do.

JA:  What are you talking about? I thought you do everything for the clients. That’s what I’ve been telling people all these years – “These guys do everything for you!”  Are you making me out to be a liar, James Beaver?

Boss:  No, but there are certain things we have to have from clients that we can’t get on our own.  Our clients have to give us things like bank statements,a copy of their driver’s license, etc. in order for us to do our job. 

[Note:  Trust me, I know these guys.  If they could go to the DMV and get your driver’s license, they’d do it.  They’d wait in line all day with a smile of on their face, and Chad would even offer to cut folks’ grass later.]

JA:  What do you do when clients won’t provide you with what you need?  Do you yell at them?  I’d yell at them.

Boss:  No, we love our clients and don’t yell.  We just explain to them what will happen if we don’t get certain documents on time, which is that closing will happen later than they want.  Nobody wants that, so usually people end up providing us with what we need.

JA:  Zing!  I think we need an added punch though.  Do you have the driver’s license of the procrastinating client this week?  Let’s put it on the blog!

Boss:  I love it!  Do you still remember how to work the copy machine?


JA:  Perfect!  You have a good lawyer, right?  Anyway…Seems things are pretty busy around here.  Are y’all doing more purchase loans or refinances these days?

Boss (studying his computer screen):  Let’s see…One, two, three, four –

JA:  Hey James, I’m just talking ballpark here –

Boss: eleven, twelve…carry the one, divide by four…mumble mumble…a lot of both.  And yes, we are really busy, but not too busy for more clients.  We’d love to help even more people. 

JA:  Who is getting loans from you?

Boss:  Some of the folks are past clients, some are friends and family of past clients, and some are referrals from realtors.

JA:  Hmph.

[Note to self:  beg readers to get loans from the ole bosses so that I don’t lose this gig.]

JA:  Tell me about interest rates.

Boss:  They are lower than they ever have been.  We’ve seen 4 % and even some in the 3s.  Look at this chart.

JA (resolved):  Nope.

Boss:  I’m serious. This line blah blah blah.  This is a great time for first time home buyers.  Interest rates are low and home prices are low.

[Note:  At this point James, yet again, tried to explain to me why a line that goes UP on the chart means rates are LOW.  My brain will not compute this information.]

JA:  Thanks for your time ole Boss.  Now go answer all those phone calls!

If you’d like to find out more about buying a home, or about James’ stupid graphs, call the ole Bosses.  If you’d like to ensure that I get to keep snooping around this joint, please tell them Just the Assistant sent you. 

And remember to turn your documents in on time.  I still know the code to the copy machine…