Business Project(ile)

BIG scoop!

Here’s the thing…

Hayley and Rachelle went to a fancy lady luncheon.  They got all decked out in their fancy lady suits, pearls, eyeliner, big hair, the whole deal.

There they were, seated at a fancy table with fancy food.  Rachelle, our famous loan processor, happens to also be famously picky.  I’m serious, you give her a tic tac and two minutes later she’s got out a steak knife and Petri dish examining it.  So naturally at the luncheon, as soon as lunch was served, Rachelle cut into her chicken, brought the fork up to her scrunched eyes, sniffed it, poked it with her knife, and gave a slight nod of approval.  This chicken passed the Rachelle test.

Big mistake.

This Fancy Lady Luncheon went on.  Rachelle and Hayley listened to a speaker tell the story of how Lasik eye surgery changed her life due to the generous donations of the fine women of Houston.  They both made sure to clap at the appropriate times and laugh when needed.  I’m telling you, these girls were doing a fine job at their luncheon.

At some point, Hayley took her own first bite of the entre.  Being a trusting gal, she didn’t inspect anything before that first bite.

Second big mistake.

At an appropriate pause in the presentation in which the speaker was showing everyone the glasses she donned prior to the operation, Rachelle sliced in for bite number two.  But uh oh…”What’s this?” she wondered.  Rachelle quickly thought back to her Martha Stewart cookbook which distinctly states that chicken juices should run clear when cooked properly.  Rachelle thought back to the photo of nice cooked chicken as she eyed the red juices flowing from the plate in front of her.

Mm hmm.

It ended.  They gave hugs to the Lasik eye surgery recipient, put their business cards in a fishbowl to be part of a drawing to win lunch for the office, and headed back to the office.  The ole Bosses would be worried about them if they were gone too long, and besides, there were buckets of loans waiting to be worked on.  Hayley was the first to broach the topic. “Rachelle, was your chicken raw?”

Fast forward to the office.  It started with Rachelle. You know the feeling – that first little, “Hmm, that felt strange” that occurs in the belly. She bolted into action with, “Chaaad! We have to go!”

The ole Boss Chad looked up from his loans (we’re all thankful he didn’t have a client in the office).  “Why do we have to leave?”

[Note:   Remember, the ole Boss Chad is married to our loan processor, hence the reference to go home together.]

Chad should not have wasted any time asking questions.  As he and Rachelle walked out of our charming office bungalow, the chicken made a second appearance.  In our front yard.  Chad was on the phone with a realtor, too!   Ha!  So there’s poor Rachelle doubled over right beside our picket fence, and Chad on his cell phone motioning to her with the universal sign of “Do you want me to hold your hair?”  (Rachelle’s hair was already up so she just replied with the staggered wave of a hand.)

Meanwhile, back inside the office, Hayley wondered, “Now that was an odd flippy flop my stomach just made.  Hmm?”  Yep.

Dear readers, these ladies are committed to you mortgage needs.  Rachelle spent a day working from home between “breaks,” and Hayley never missed a day.  We’ve disinfected the front yard and other unfortunate areas, and now Hayley and Rachelle are back in the office working away.  Rachelle’s IV drip is only a very minor inconvenience, and Hayley was quite thin anyway, so we’ve hardly noticed the four pounds she lost.

To send your condolences to these fine co-workers, please fill out a loan application on the right and type “Fancy Lady Lunch Loss” in the referred by section of the application.  They may be half dead, but they still want to work on your loans.