The ole Boss James bought new clothes. I know this because I pay attention to clothing rotations. Below was his previous rotation:
Monday: blue dress shirt with sleeves rolled up and gray slacks. He combs his hair on Mondays, too.
Tuesday: same as Monday
Wednesday: same as Tuesday
Thursday: same as Wednesday
Friday: Depends on how his week has gone. If he’s tired, he’ll wear jeans and his yellow stripey shirt. He does not comb his hair on these days. If he’s not tired, he’ll wear an Envoy Golf shirt and still not comb his hair.
So you can imagine my shock when I noticed he had on a white shirt with blue squares and brown slacks. Later, I checked his calendar and saw that he has some fancy meetings this week with important people. That explains it. I’m not sure if he’s going to work the new clothes into his previous rotation, or simply replace Monday through Thursday with the new outfit.
Now, he’s going to get all bent out of shape if people think he wears the same clothes every day. He probably does wear different clothes; they just all look the same. Think Inspector Gadget.
And speaking of James’ important meetings, as most of you know, I’ve abandoned my executive assistant plan and have embarked on the writing career. A few months ago, if I’d known James was going to be meeting with big shots this week, I would’ve badgered him about talking up my assistant skills in front of the big guys. But this week, I’ll be coaching him on how to talk up my writing skills. I’ve tutored him in how to get the focus of any conversation off of how great our branch is doing, and onto me and me alone.
Mr. Somebody Important: Nice to meet you, James Beaver. I hear your branch is doing wonderful and you are the best boss in this industry! And hey – look at those pants! New?
James: True and true. And yes, they’re new. You know who else likes new clothes? Christina Ledbetter. I could not have gotten where I am today though if it weren’t for that former just the assistant writing about every move I make.
Mr. Somebody: Hey – looka that checky shirt! Don’t tell me, new?
James (wavering): Ah, er, yes. You like it? I got it – no – wait! I mean, Christina Ledbetter likes this shirt, as well. She’ll probably write something super witty about it and probably ten people will come to me for mortgages.
Mr. Somebody: Say, you think she’d write something for me?
Bam! I’ve got one more day to prep the ole Boss. Tomorrow I’m headed to the office with some writing samples for him to circulate. I’ll let you know if Wednesday’s attire is Tuesday’s repeat of Monday.