Dear Dudes,

Your girlfriend only accidentally forwarded this to you.  She meant to click the like button, and ended up sending the article directly to your inbox and I really don’t know why.

But while you’re here…

Glamour Magazine ran an article this month written by The Office’s Mindy Kaling (but since you’re a dude, you might only know her as Kelly).  In summary, she talks about how she’s learned that who she really wants to date is a man.  I didn’t say boy.  And you know how she describes a man?  A man is ready for…

“…commitment to things – houses, jobs, neighborhoods.  Paying a mortgage…It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore.  I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome.”

Among other things, Kaling notes, men embrace their chest hair, own real coats, and paint the walls of the mortgaged home before hanging framed pictures.

Guys, I know it’s appealing to think, “But with what I own right this second-  these jeans, that tv, my ipad, and the microwave – I could move to Colorado right this second!” the thing is, you’ll be in a lot better financial standing if, when you do decide to move to Colorado (I know, it could totally happen) you’ve been putting your payments toward something you own instead of rent.

But just for fun’s sake, let’s say that maybe moving to Aspen is not in the immediate future.  Whether you are aware of it or not, girls are checking you out.  They aren’t just checking out whether you’re polite to waiters and whether you know how to cook.  I assure you they are looking at those things, but I’m here to focus on what else the ladies are looking at: stability and level-headedness.

Dudes, listen.  Ladies really aren’t interested in how big of a house or townhouse you buy.  But trust me, owning a house boosts your attractiveness up by at least 40%.  It’s not so much that the ladies equate home ownership to your willingness to slide a ring on a particular finger; it’s just that they see you are on top of things.  You know interest rates are low, you know how to manage however much money you make well, and you make smart decisions.  You, are a man.   

A few months ago I heard a single guy say, “I want to buy a house, but I’m afraid I’ll meet the girl of my dreams and for some reason we won’t be able to live in whatever house I buy.”  He had a long string of reasons why the imaginary woman might not live in his imaginary house:  her job, her tastes, what if she owns a house already, etc. I wish the poor guy would realize that by buying a home, he’s only doing himself a favor in the search for the girl of his dreams.

Because at the end of the day, we ladies aren’t dreaming about a daily commute or whether or not our flatware will clash with your everyday plates.  We’re dreaming about men who know what they want in life, and chest hair.