Don’t let them take me down!

The ole Bosses sent me a calendar request:

Title: Year End Blog Review/Brainstorm Meeting

When: Thu Dec 15 1pm – 2pm (CST)

Where: Heights Office

I don’t know about you all, but “review” sends me into a nervous panic. I don’t care for reviews; I like praise. I’m frantically searching past posts to see if I’ve even written about mortgages in the past six months.  The thing is, the ole Bosses know of this other mortgage blog that is actually professional (boring) and involves people that actually know about mortgages (nerds) and has like eighty million subscribers (poo on them). James and Chad look at this other blog, then glance over at me thumbing through Glamour Magazine on the office couch, and they start to wonder about what I’m doing here…

Gang, this is a crucial 48 hours. I’ve got to come into this meeting armed with proof that someone other than my mother reads this blog. And I’m not even sure if she does.

For the next two days, here is what I need from you, dear readers (or even non-readers; at this point I am not picky): Go completely psychotic on this site. Like button it, share it on Facebook, tweet it, comment, comment again, when I comment back, write LOL in the comment section. You know that stupid Click the Cow game? I need you to treat my little mortgage blog like the lonely people in their parents’ basements treat cow clicking. I need you to click the crap outta this blog.

And then, email the ole Bosses: JBeaver@EnvoyMortgage.com and CHelmcamp@EnvoyMortgage.com and ask them a mortgage question. Bonus points if you include any lines involving multiple obnoxious initialisms concerning your feelings toward this mortgage blog. For example:

“Just the Assistant has me LMAO, LOL! TTYL!”

Finally, subscribe on the right. Here’s how subscribing will enhance your life and make all your hopes and dreams come true:

Scenario One: You, sitting at your desk working on yet another boring task that could totally wait five minutes. Not wanting anyone to see you pilfering around on Facebook, you simply check your email to see if I’ve written any pee your pants new material lately. “Oh look, one just came last night! Perfect time to take a break from this pesky task. Oh, and what’s this? I’m learning about mortgages? AND Anthropologie! I am now smarter and prettier than I was four minutes ago.”

Scenario Two: You, feeding the kid, changing the kid, picking up after the kid, raising the kid. You know what you need? A valuable, guilt-free break. “No no, Mommy is busy studying mortgages! Don’t you want to go to college one day? Then let Mommy finish this informative piece on refinancing our home so that you will get an education from an Ivy League school.” I’m telling you, this little blog provides all the fun of Farmville, and none of the “What the crap did I just do with the past twelve minutes of my life?” nonsense.

A tiny note on subscribing: After you’ve subscribed, check to make sure the posts aren’t going to your junk mail, because that would defeat the purpose, and you’d end up dumber.

Alright my dear readers, I’ll let you know what happens after Thursday’s meeting. That is, unless Thursday is the day they shut me down. In that case, Thursday evening’s Memorial Branch of Envoy holiday party is going to be really awkward.

Now, you’re off to click, comment, and subscribe away! Help Just the Assistant stay alive!