You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here…

I closed on my loan today! Goodbye great mortgage with a low interest rate, hello better mortgage with a lower interest rate that’ll save me $200 a month!

I love closings. A closing is where you go and sign all the final papers for your loan. I’ve closed on at least five mortgages in my life, and each one sends me off a little more prideful and pretentious than the last. If there is a small part of you that does not fully feel like you’ve reached adulthood, you need to secure a mortgage and attend closing. First of all, the waiting rooms are really swanky, and people are all the time calling you Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. something and asking if you’d like a “beverage”:

And they always have tasty snacks (note the vegan options):

Then, the closing takes place in a posh room at an imposing conference table with cushy black rolling chairs. My ego continues to rise:

You can tell people what to do at closings. (Below, Just the Assistant bosses folks around):

When you finish bossing everybody around, you have to sign some paperwork. Signing your name is fun, unless it’s like to say that you’re checking into prison or prison visitation. But this isn’t like that; this is fun:

I walked out smartly holding a thick wad of paperwork documenting how responsible I am, how noble, how with it.

Okay, I promise I’ll shut up now about my refinance and get back to making fun of my ole mortgage banking Bosses. Stay tuned later this week for more of James’ juice cleanse updates, Chad’s profound insights on mortgages and life in general, and savvy home loan tips to help you make smart decisions about how you spend (and save) money.