Letter Home

February 22, 2012

I’m dog sitting for my ole Boss James while he charms the higher-ups of the company on the Circle of Excellence trip (yep, the ole Bosses won some fancy award again – more on that later). Cosmo asked if he could write a letter home…

Dear Mom + Dad,

Camp Cowboy is turning out to be really great.

The bunks are not like what you said they were like when you were a kid.

I have made friends here. Some of the other campers are SO fun!

And some of the other campers are totally boring and need to get a life. This guy has been asleep, LITERALLY, the whole time I’ve been here.

Camp legend has it that every day except Sundays and bank holidays a man tries to break into camp and murder all the campers. I know this because this other camper, Cowboy, has been at this camp for like six years now, and he seems to know all the ins and outs. Cowboy growls and barks at this window when the man approaches the property while I run around the camp barking at chairs and other furniture:

I have received only one demerit each day (Cowboy gets like FIVE). The people who run the camp think some camp equipment should stay inside, and they’re all like, “That’s an INSIDE toy, Cosmo!”

But I like camp equipment to go OUTSIDE, and so far they haven’t told me what a demerit means, and anyway, after they tell me I have one, I stick my head between their legs and they’re all like, “Oh Cosmo, you’re so CUTE!” and scratch me behind the ears, so what would YOU do, huh?