The Scoop on Home Loans

When to Throw out Mayonnaise

Sometimes sooner is better than later. . .

 

Sooner

Later

Throwing out old mayonnaise

 “Ohp! Looks like this is going out of date next week. Better go ahead and throw it out! Hey honey, can you add mayonnaise to the list?” “Hey honey, is this mayonnaise in here still good?”

“I don’t know, give it a smell.”

Whiff! Thud.

Hitting the gym

 “Man, I caught those five pounds just in time!” “The treadmill won’t hold me? The treadmill won’t HOLD ME!?”

Getting pre-approved for a home loan

 “Oh, there’s a glitch in my credit because my wife owes $92 on a medical bill from nine years ago? Good thing I got pre-approved six months early so that I can get things ironed out before I buy my house!” “Oh, there’s a glitch in my credit because my wife owes $92 on a medical bill from nine years ago? And I want to buy a house right now, so I guess I just have to go with the higher interest rate since I didn’t give myself time to get things ironed out, huh?”

Learning Spanish

 “Muy Bien! Donde esta el bano?!” “Roll my R’s? But I have no teef! Where’s my cane?!”

Buying a first house

 “And you see these floors? MINE! And the walls? MINE! And I bought when interest rates were stupid low – Woo HA HA HA! Hello tax breaks and home ownership!” “Okay, here’s your keys back Mr. Landlord. Oh, I like your Ferrari by the way. Wow, that’s a nice watch, too. Rolex?”

Subscribing to this blog

 “It’s so great! It just shows up in my inbox!” “I tried subscribing to Just the Assistant, but it crashed my system since millions of people try to do the same thing every second of the day. Oh well, I think she’s going to be on the Ellen show later, so I’ll try to catch her then.”

2 thoughts on “When to Throw out Mayonnaise”

Comments are closed.