Law and No Order

I hope you take what I’m about to say as evidence of how great of mortgage bankers my ole Bosses are. Actually, I’m not even going to say it. Below, an excerpt from an e-mail from James:

Generally speaking, getting a bunch of people together to watch a sporting event requires a couple key ingredients: 1) Fun people (like you), 2) Good food & drink, 3) A good venue in which to gather and perhaps of greatest importance, 4) An actual sporting event to watch on the TV.

For you basketball aficionados we’re sure you noticed that the date we proposed was incorrect. Our apologies for the confusion. These things can happen. The Envoy Mortgage March Madness viewing party will be on THURSDAY, March 15TH. Everything else is the same.

We look forward to seeing you on THURSDAY!

See, while other mortgage bankers are busy following basketball schedules and churning out crappy mortgages, James Beaver and Chad Helmcamp are toiling away to make sure their borrowers receive the best service and products available. While the other mortgage bankers have basketball stats memorized, Chad Helmcamp has every loan product known to man in his brain.

So I hope to see you all THURSDAY March 15th anytime from 11 – 8 at 360 Sports Lounge, 4601 Washington Avenue.

Onto other business. James made it back from the Circle of Excellence trip. That’s the trip that the most fabulous people of Envoy Mortgage get to attend. I’m pretty sure I’ll get to go next year.

I specifically asked James before he left to send me pictures of:

  • anyone in the midst of an argument
  • heavy drinkers
  • awkward moments
  • boring moments
  • people waiting in line to use the bathroom
  • flow charts

He came back with lame pictures of, like, the view from his hotel room. Here’s the best of the pictures he came back with.

Here is a guy that I don’t know but I think he is high up in this company and probably a good person to suck up to. Hi Brad! I hear wonderful things about you!

Here is a sorry excuse for an interesting picture James sent me. I ask for drunken mortgage bankers losing their cool, and he sends me this (it’s such a boring picture I didn’t even bother rotating it):

Finally, a totally enthralling picture of James and his lovely wife in front of, get ready, cactuses. Is he kidding me?

Best for last. James and his wife about to fall out of a hot air balloon.

On a final note, I had the rare opportunity to watch a thrilling episode of “Ice Loves Coco” at the gym yesterday. This is the show about Ice T and his tan wife who kind of resembles the wife in Dog Bounty Hunter. In this episode, T and Co. (I just made up that name for them, and I think it might make me rich) go house hunting. They also bring their dog and give the dog Champaign at the end of the show to celebrate finding their dream home. Just another example of an economy on the rise, folks.

If you’d like to drink Champaign with your dog after finding your dream bungalow, contact James Beaver or Chad Helmcamp.

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4 thoughts on “Law and No Order

  1. Did you really just post that picture of me falling out of the balloon basket?!? Just for that…it’s cacti and they were awesome. Just like the fake ones in cartoons. Or Disneyland.

  2. Instead of looking at the guy holding up his thumb, I really enjoyed looking in to those people’s back yard. The one with all the junk and no grass!

  3. Good eye, Rodney! I was too busy sucking up to the higher up to notice the background picture. I am currently trying to weasel my way onto the next trip so that we can have some decent pictures next year.

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