They’re sending me to Corporate!

They’re sending me to corporate to interview folks there. Corporate America, here I come, baby!

Here’s the thing. My ole Bosses, James Beaver and Chad Helmcamp run the Memorial branch of Envoy Mortgage. Envoy Mortgage is this grand mortgage bank that consists of my ole Bosses’ bosses and lots of support staff. I have only been to corporate one time. It was when the ole Bosses and I first joined this company and we had to attend training to learn how Envoy does business. (This is good for you, because Envoy actually uses technology to do loans, unlike other mortgage companies that still have folks filling out loan applications with #2 pencils).

While I think a lot of Envoy Mortgage, I have to get this out there. It’s been bugging me for years and it’s time they make amends. And with me visiting corporate next week, the folks up top have a chance to make it up to me. See, during that training years ago, they misspelled my name on the handout under “Welcome to Envoy!”

Can we get this straight? My name is not Christine. It’s Christina, with an A. It sounds very much like ChristinUH. One letter off, but the E eliminates an entire syllable and totally changes my name. I accept all apologies in the form of Anthropologie gift cards. Thank you, Onvoy.

Okay, can we move on? No, we can’t. Because I just have to say that the exact same thing happened at the place I previously worked. See, I used to work at this school teaching naughty children to read. During orientation the principal introduced me and flashed my name on a big projector. But it wasn’t even my name. Again, who is this Christine? And then, after I’d been there a year, “Christine” got an award for being there one year.

I feel a lot better now.

Before I go shopping to find an appropriate outfit to impress the corporate folks, let me tell you about Part II of that stupid webinar James forced everybody to watch. It was part of his Getting Things Done fan club packet, and he wanted us all to listen to his hero, David Allen, teach the world how to get things done. James had everybody pile in the living room foyer and take notes. Attention levels were. . . sub par. . .

Chad (mumbling under breath): If people quit after this I'm gonna punch you.

At one point I actually slapped my own face to stay awake. Hayley chewed her nails and practiced writing her future name, and Will pretended to pay attention because he’s the nicest one on the team.

Hayley: Are you gonna quit after this? I might.

Once the webinar ended, James tried to convince everyone how great things will be if we adopt these practices. He got all crazy and started using jazz hands.

You will sub-divide projects into tasks or I will chop you!

I’ve got the hand it to the guy. He constantly wants the team to work more and more efficiently. It’s good for you, because while the other mortgage companies just put out false ads and hope something sticks, James and Chad are always working to make sure their team provides the best service possible.

Tune in next week to hear about my visit to corporate. Now, off to capitalize that oft forgotten A on all my business cards.