What my Bosses have in Common with the Tanning Mom

May 4, 2012

We’ve moved! So long, charming bungalow. Hello nice, air-conditioned office building with separate boys and girls bathrooms and our own suite. 401, in case you’d like to stop by.

Interesting things about our new office:

• You have to have a key to use the bathroom and the note on the door says it’s for “your protection”.
• There is a nice man in the lobby with a sign-in sheet for visitors. And when you get to the “time arrived” square, he tells you exactly what time it is.

Speaking of offices, a handful of years ago, when the ole Bosses and I worked at another mortgage company, our office sat next to two very tan mortgage brokers. Nice guys, just very tan. One day the tan team installed a flat screen TV on the wall of their office and kept the channel on CNN. They talked about how relevant they’d be to their clients and stuff, and how they’d always know what’s going on with the market. We thought the way James and Chad did things (constantly studying the market and knowing everything about loans) might indeed be a better approach, but we kept our mouths closed.

Another day, one of the tan men came to work with an extremely swollen leg. He limped around the office all day with a leg that appeared to be about to rip out of his blue jeans. I asked him what happened and he laughed and gave some vague answer about a “wild night.” And the dude was like 45. Okay, so the leg story doesn’t have anything to do with what I’m getting at. I just had to tell somebody.

Anyway, imagine my surprise this week as my ole Boss James was giving me a tour of the new office and he brought me into our conference room:

I gasped. “You’re like the tan team!”

Turns out they’re not exactly like the tan team, because our flat screen has the ability to hook up to James’ iPad, and then you know what? He can run loan scenarios for people right there on the conference room TV, and then it will be the clients’ turn to gasp at the low interest rates and at how much money they will save by getting loans from James Beaver and Chad Helmcamp. I, for one, expect to hear lots of hoots and hollers coming out of that conference room.

Until then, allow me to take you on a tour of the new office.

Check it!

Haley’s desk (she was feeling puffy-faced and kept saying she looked like John Gosling and wouldn’t let me take a picture of her face). For the record, it was allergies, and not a “wild night” that did it.

Here is a junk closet where they stuck my replacement Justin for the day. HAHAHAHAHA! Poor Justin.

Chad’s office has a sharp corner with windows so it feels like you are floating. Feel it?

Finally, James’ office where he bosses people around and enjoys his new swollen head. Oh kidding. I even tried to get him to say something snotty and he wouldn’t. I whispered, “Do you feel powerful in this office?” and he just made some bland comment about enjoying the quietness (the charming bungalow had been across the street from a liquor store and construction site).

I’ve got one more bit of juicy gossip to share, but it will have to wait until next week, dear readers. Thankfully, I have landed a side writing gig and I must be off to write poetic descriptions of hundreds of bracelets and chokers for a jewelry company. I wish I could make this a really suspenseful blog, but alas, it’s mortgages, folks. Here’s all you get: I overheard a conversation between two realtors last night in which they were talking about a client’s experience with my ole Boss Chad. More details to come next week.

And by the way, I have not received the Shade gift card in the mail yet, so my giveaway is still going strong! Thanks for those who’ve entered so far!

If you would like to talk to James or Chad about what type of interest rate you could get on a loan, what the closing costs would be, or what loan options are available to you, please let me know. Let’s put that hoot and hollerin’ flat screened conference room to good use! Tans are optional.