Interior Disgust

My brain is slowly melting into a fine plop of mush. I had thought this side gig I had writing jewelry descriptions would just roll right out of my brain onto my keyboard. But after 15 Sterling silver earrings in a row, that doesn’t happen so much. Creativity is low, folks.

Usually I’m headed somewhere with my intro. Today, I’m not. I just needed to vent. Thank you; we can move on now.

Speaking of lack of creativity – hey! I did find a way to use that intro! – you all need to come see our new office. I’m telling you, it’s awful.

Let me take you back a few years. . .

Long ago when I first started working for James and Chad, James and I shared an office. A brown office with a view of a parking lot. After six months of watching me slowly sink into a depression, James had me frame some pictures and hang them on the walls. Since then, I have learned that left to his own devices, James cares approximately zero about office décor. He’s not a particularly boring guy, but for some reason stimulating atmospheres mean little to him. Maybe it makes him a better mortgage banker.

In the past, we’ve all let it slide that James has such, ahem, minimal tastes. We let him waste away in his drab offices with the shades drawn, bangin’ out great mortgages. But now that we have our own suite in a great building (Movin’ on UPPP!) his dreariness will not be tolerated. Readers of Just the Assistant, we need your help. Please help us decorate our new suite!

For comparison purposes, I’d like to first show you the office that we all see when we first step off the elevator on the 4th floor of our building.

Ride ’em, Cowboy!

Please note the cowhide sofa, cowhide rug, brass longhorn statue and Sterling silver cowboy on bronco replica. What I’m saying is, the folks are trying.

I don’t know that I’d always pick such an elaborate Texas theme for my office, but at least it shows you the effort that these fine lawyers have put into their office décor.

Now, I’d like you to see some shots from our office:

“Envoy Mortgage, can I help you?”

Rachelle: Hayley, can you take care of these files? I need to go see my therapist.
Hayley: Take me with you.

Honestly, we don’t even know if Justin is alive anymore. Someone may have just propped his head up with the phone like that.

WIll: I’m leaving this place. I haven’t smiled in nine days.

  We couldn’t get a receptionist to stay if we tried. . .

Welcome to Envoy Mor – oh forget it, I’m going to work for the lawyers down the hall.

Here’s what we need – decorating advice. Obviously there are problems, and before the rest of the team quits, we’ve got to act fast.  

Should we go Texas theme like the lawyers? Rooster theme like your mom did in the early nineties? All ideas are welcome!  

If I had a dose of creativity left, I stick a nifty survey here. Please bear with me though, and leave a comment below with your decorating suggestions. Lamps? Rugs? What do we need? Comment away!