Fancy Lady Ramblings

I am headed to another Fancy Lady Luncheon tomorrow with Houston Woman Magazine. Last year I was a nervous wreck headed to the same luncheon. I almost had to pull over and throw up. This year I’m cool as a cucumber since I know what’s coming. Plus, I have a plan. Okay, even with the plan, I’m still pretty nervous. Here it goes anyway.

I’ll pull up at a really swanky place and a nice man will open my car door for me. Once I enter the venue, I plan to spend an extra long time at the table where you get your nametags. This is because I will know nobody at the luncheon except for the publisher of the magazine, and since she’s the publisher of the magazine that is hosting said Fancy Lady Luncheon, it won’t really be time for me to chat it up with her, will it?

Back to the nametag table. This will be the only place in the whole venue in which I can pretend to have a purpose.

Purpose 1. Waiting in line at the table for my nametag. Find the longest line available, or even walk across the building and ask people if they are in line. No? Oh, ha ha! I must be mixed up! Find correct long line. Cue studious look from me, focusing on waiting in line.

Purpose 2. Slowly saying my name to the ladies at the table who find my nametag. I need to milk this time period for all it’s worth. I may even accidentally forget my name a few times in order to elongate the process.

Upon being handed the nametag, my next important move is to burrow into a corner and pretend to have a really tricky time attaching the tag to my dress. This will be my last moments of appearing to have purpose. After this, you all know my next move. The ole “go to the bathroom and rearrange my purse”.

And that’s all I’ve got. I suppose I’ll spend the rest of the time twisting at my necklace (it’s a pacifying behavior I learned from my body language book) and nervously smiling at folks. Last year I found a small group of ladies to chat with, and I’m hoping I can find those exact same ladies and pick up right where we left off. “Hey there! Did you enjoy the chicken last year? How’ve things been since dessert?”

Afterwards, I can relax. I’m headed to the office to interview the ole Bosses about loans and such, and I always enjoy  being in a room with James and Chad while they ponder and bicker and brainstorm about business. If James pulls his hair while Chad repeats the same argument over and over but in different terms it’ll be even better.

In addition to interviewing the guys about loans, James has suckered me into a side project of his. Someone needs to write a snappy bio of him and Chad, and since everyone else in the office actually works and stays busy, I was an easy target, mindlessly perusing Facebook updates on the company provided laptop. I still don’t know why he won’t use the perfectly good bios I wrote on our About page.

Okay folks, sorry for today’s aimless ramblings here and there. I’ll get some loan scoop for you all tomorrow so you can be super savvy when you secure your next home loan. Or I may just make fun of the way James and Chad problem solve. Subscribe on the right to find out.