Another Hoax

Last week I told you about the show “House Hunters” being a big scam. Well wouldn’t you know, but I uncovered another reality show scam the very next day!? Get this. . .

While watching a show about an Atlanta auction house recently (think “Randy has a signed boxing glove he hopes to get $2,000 for…will the bidding go that high?!”), I half paid attention as random elderly people bid on a 19^th century phonograph. The bidding had reached a standstill as the owner of the phonograph twisted her handkerchief in anticipation over whether or not she’d get the $600 she needed to visit her grandchildren in Vermont, when all of a sudden, a bidding war broke out. Oh yes it did! One elderly Georgian after another raised their cardboard paddles to indicate, “Heck yeah I want that phonograph!”

And that’s when something very interesting happened. The next person to raise a paddle only got a quarter of a second of airtime, but it was just long enough for me to cry out, “I know her!” to my dog. It looked just like a sweet girl I went to middle and high school with whom I hadn’t seen in fourteen years. I watched the rest of the show intently, constantly scanning the crowd, but never saw her bid again. I guessed the heartbreak of losing the phonograph discouraged her from bidding on anything else.

I knew it was a long shot, especially considering my old schoolmate now lives in Seattle, but I sent her a Facebook message anyway. “Hey! I know it’s a long shot, but were you at an auction in Atlanta recently bidding on a phonograph?”

Lo and behold I got a reply. Get this:

HA! Yes…Gallery 63 is in Atlanta and my mom and I went to one of the auctions in December. The funny thing is we keep popping up on episodes “bidding’ on things we never even saw! The worst one was the “Iron Maiden”, which is a torture device! It shows us bidding on it like three times! It was so crazy! That was the first time we saw us being used. The latest one I noticed was on a mobster car. Apparently we are ‘regulars’ or that is what it looks like! HA! That is funny that someone actually noticed. Look at you, being friends with a TV STAR!!! 😉

And that, my friends, is how I discovered that some auction show I don’t even know the name of is a fat hoax.

Okay, yes, I realize I’m suppose to be writing about mortgages. But here’s the thing.

I am out of the office for a few weeks. In order to appear elusively important, I’m not telling where I am. I’ve e-mailed everyone at the office and asked for scoop, and even prompted each person with specific targets. To Chad: “Is James doing anything crazy? Can you get some pictures of him in unflattering positions?” To Hayley: “Has Chad gone nuts this week? Can you get some pictures of him in unflattering positions?”

Nothing.

Apparently, the entire universe is currently securing a mortgage (smart move, universe) and everyone is too busy working on loans to help me snoop. So until I install that hidden camera in the office, or return to the office myself, please excuse my rants and ramblings. 

One last note. It has come to my attention that I have been misspelling the word champagne. Blasted spellcheck has been correcting my initial misspellings to that of a town in Illinois with the same name, different spelling. This also explains why I’ve been capitalizing the little booger as well. Apologies galore.

If any of you hear any scoop about what’s going on at the office today, please let me know! And if you happen to have a free hour on your hands, call me. I may or may not have a hidden camera I’d like you to install for me.