Just the (Temporary) Assistant

If any of you have followed my story here, you know that I started out as Just the Assistant for two partially sane Houston mortgage bankers. I watched them work and bicker and meet and drink coffee and laugh and provide hundreds of home loans to Houston homebuyers. After a few years of creating flowcharts, mailing moving stickers to clients, and watching my Bosses build their business, I started this blog. Eventually, I stopped being the assistant, but I kept writing for my two favorite mortgage bankers, continuing to come into the office, snoop about, ask lots of questions, and blog away week after week. I also started writing for some other cool folks.

In the meantime, the mortgage business shot through the roofs of the millions of folks who started buying homes all of a sudden (the fact that this happened after I left the business may or may not be a coincidence). Because of this surge of business, for the past few weeks my ole Boss James has been badgering me to come back to work for him as his Just the Assistant for a few hours a week. Seems he forgot that I’m an insanely famous writer these days and have no time for filing and pouring his coffee. Despite this knowledge, the poor guy wouldn’t leave me alone.

I finally caved. Which brings us to this week. Starting yesterday, I’ve offered to give my dear ole Bosses (henceforth known simply as Bosses) ten hours of my precious time a week. We’re all under agreement that it’s temporary, and I’m just there until either they see they really need someone to be their Just the Assistant fulltime, or I see that I need to have more time to write.

Honestly, I don’t know if it’ll last longer than one week, but in the meantime, welcome back Just the Assistant! May I pour you a cup of coffee, sir?

Project for the week: find my Boss Chad a good chiropractor. Here’s the thing. While some of us are sleeping around five o-clock in the morning or walking our dogs or taking spin classes or shaving our legs, Chad Helmcamp is in his living room, working out to a P90X DVD.

He began this hoopla a few years back, slacked off for a year until I posted an unflattering picture of his waistline to this blog that his wife happened to see, and promptly jumped back on the P90X train. For the past two months he’s been back at it, reporting to me on every workout he completes. “So Monday morning I did the chest, back and ab ripper, and then Tuesday I took off, and then I did plyometrics  on Wednesday, and Thursday was core synergistics, and…” I gasp and tell him what a good job he’s doing after every single report. Part of the job of any Just the Assistant is to make your Boss feel darn good about himself. A happy Boss is a paying Boss; that’s what I always say.

Anyway, Chad threw his back out. He’s been hobbling around the office all day leaning on people’s desks between walks to the copy machine. This isn’t the best part though. Would you like to know how he threw his back out? Would you?

Yoga. P90X yoga.

If you would like to donate funds to the Chad Helmcamp Chiropractic Fund, please fill out a loan application on the right and type “ P90X Yoga Mishap” in the referred by section. Until then, good chiropractor recommendations are welcome. Now, off to pour some coffee!