Envoy Mortgage, May I Help You?

Several years ago, before my Bosses had built their team to a staff of close to a dozen and it was just the two of them, me and our rock star processor/rock star Boss’ wife Rachelle, we all went to lunch at a fancy restaurant in the Galleria area. It was a joyous celebration, as we were looking forward to doing great things together as a team. We ate, drank, and forced laughter at yet another telling of Chad’s “bacon story” that he recites at every function in which other people are around and he has the spotlight. It involves something a friend of his said about bacon and he thinks it’s just the greatest thing.

This was during the time in which I had tricked the Bosses into thinking that I would be an asset to their team. See, smiling a lot and acting generally enthusiastic will go a long way with these guys. It was before they’d heard me talk on the phone to a client, and before they discovered that no, I really never would understand the new Good Faith Estimate layout and how it functions. Business was good, the sun was shining in Houston, and we were going to provide home loans to the whole city; just watch.

And then, Chad’s phone rang. Just as we were about to toast to a prosperous future and all things mortgage, Chad rushed away from the table saying, “This is Chad” in his business voice, leaving us all holding our glasses up mid-air over the white table cloth. James rolled his eyes and shook his head as we lowered our glasses and picked at our salads without Chad.

My Bosses, James Beaver and Chad Helmcamp, have had an ongoing feud for about seven years now. As you may have guessed, it involves Chad and his phone. Chad is of the mindset that if a client calls, he has a much better chance of securing that person’s business if he answers his phone. Mind you, he wouldn’t answer his phone if he were actually in the middle of a client meeting, but he will answer his phone just about any other time.

James has always scolded Chad about the constant phone answering, saying that it’s rude to answer the phone if you’re in the middle of a conversation with a colleague, and that it’s totally acceptable to call a client back in an hour. Personally, I’ve always thought Chad’s method is kind of smart. I mean, I’m always pleasantly pleased when someone answers the phone when I call, and assume mortgage seekers of the world are, as well.

Fast forward to this week. As we began a sales training meeting, James passed a giant basket around ordering everyone to deposit their phones to ensure they’d all pay attention to the lady on our conference room screen who’d be telling us all how to be wonderful people with whom the world wants to secure loans. I caught Chad giving James a slight stinky eye as he dropped his beloved phone into the basket, and James nodded approvingly as he collected all the potential distractions.

The training began. Ms. C, the saleslady, began her first section by telling everyone that there was no AC in her office and to forgive her for not wearing her jacket.

We all nodded in forgiveness and typed “forgiven” into the webinar so she’d know she could continue. First topic of sales training: Answering Your Phone.

Chad and James cast sideways glances at each other, wondering whose side Ms. C would fall on. I glued my eyes to the screen, giddy over the prospect of the Beaver-Helmcamp phone feud finally coming to an end.

Okay, I think this sales training costs our company a boatload of money, so I’m probably not suppose to share the sales secrets divulged in this training. But for the sake of this blog, I think we need to break the rules, don’t you?

Ladies and gentlemen, lesson one in securing the deal: Answer the flipping phone (not to be confused with answering your flip phone). And if you can’t answer it, call the person back within two minutes. It increases your chances of securing the deal by something like 50%.

Chad’s maniacal laughter filled the conference room. He had won. James sulked in his leather chair, defeated. Or, was he? Why was James so hunched over? Oh wait, now I see:

(Please note image of Chad in the upper righthand corner, in the middle of shouting “BOO-YA!” to the staff.)

With interest rates being at darn close to nothing, home prices extremely reasonable in this fine city, and two Bosses convinced to answer their phones no matter what, I’d say it’s a good time to call 713.213.5205 and ask James Beaver for a home loan, or 713.826.8136 and ask Chad to tell you his bacon story.