Who Turned Out the Lights?

I passed out in Randalls this week. It happened after the pharmacist had shot about a half gallon of vaccinations into my arms and warned me that the final one, the Hepatitis A, would make me feel “lightheaded.” Mm hmm. I got lightheaded alright. And I blame it all on the my ole Boss James Beaver.

Here’s the thing.

Remember when James went to Rwanda last year? And remember how he brought with him lots of charts and graphs and business smarts? Well, I thought it time I go visit the Rwandans myself and make amends for James’ obsessive flowcharting. I’ve spent this week preparing for the trip and nursing my arms back to health after receiving all the injections to protect me against yellow fever and such. James told me the vaccinations were no big deal at all. Did I mention I can’t lift my right arm? I couldn’t even put on deodorant properly, just had to kind of rub some on below my armpit and hope it’d do the trick. I don’t know what he’s talking about with all this “no big deal” smack.

While I’ve been doing that, the ole Bosses have been living it up in Vegas. Now don’t worry, they’re still taking good care of all the loans out there, they just happen to be doing it from the comfort of a blackjack table. Envoy is having some big to-do out there in Vegas this week (that I wasn’t invited to, in case anyone from corporate is reading and can pull some strings next year) and now all the Envoy folks are posting Facebook pictures of the city that never sleeps. Yeah well, have fun folks. I’ll just be here in Houston, filling out my meager Rwanda paperwork and praying for the needy. You all have fun now, okay?

The ole Boss Chad carries three bags of chips into the casino.

Oh kidding. If they would’ve invited me, I’d be lounging by a hotel pool right now while all the other loons worked the slot machines.

Another thing I’m up to this week while the Bosses sip martinis is perusing the floor plans of my new house. I don’t say that to brag; I say it to try to get you to buy a house. Next week I go pick out all the do-das for the place– the cabinets, the floors, the paint. After having bought and remodeled two houses, I wish I knew what I was doing by now. Actually I should clarify. I have not remodeled two houses. I made sandwiches for my husband while he remodeled our first house, and with the profits from that house we paid other folks to remodel the second one.

I’d still love your help though. Any tips for picking out everything in one day? I have a two-hour window to select all the fixin’s in this new place, so if you have any insider tips, any tricks of the trade, any secret wisdom you can bestow upon me, please share.

Finally, if you’re in the market for a new house, there are lots available where I’m
buying! We can be neighbors, all hip and living in the loop and hanging out on
our balconies and feeding each other’s cats while the other is out of town. Rates are still crazy low (that’s why this girl bought!), so let me know if you’re interested. I’ll have a bouncer call the ole Bosses from the craps table and get you set right up.