How We Handle the Meanies

Sometimes people are mean to the fine folks here at Envoy Mortgage. My first response when someone is mean to me is automatic, uncontrollable crying. But that doesn’t go over too well here at Envoy, which is why I just write the blog now. The rest of the team handles it differently though. Everybody’s got their own style.

James, in an ironic combination, gets super friendly and about seven notches louder. Once, a few years ago, I heard James answer the phone and after a second say something along the lines of, “I’d be happy to help you with that…” and started explaining the different factors that go into providing someone with an interest rate. Then he abruptly stopped mid-sentence, was silent for about three seconds, then doubled his volume, tripled his friendliness, and shouted, “SURE THING! GREAT! I’LL SEND IT RIGHT OVER!” Then he hung up the phone and made some huffing and growling noises and shook his head.

Being the ever helpful assistant I am, I asked, “What happened?” He was too mad to respond at first, so I continued to badger him. “What happened?”

Turns out, in the midst of James explaining how he was going to help this fine client, the guy cut him off and snapped, “Just give me the f%@#ing rate!” Daaaaang! James sent him a rate alright…

Chad’s motto is, when things get hairy, start calling people to keep the tone friendly. He says the phone lets you set the tone in a way email doesn’t. On the phone he can be cordial and pleasant and let everyone know how much he cares about them. Then, we just won’t invite that person to bingo, see?

Speaking of bingo, I gave you all a nice flow chart last week depicting why you should join me and the Bosses Thursday evening (increased social standing, pizza, beer, wine, bingo, the ole Bosses, me) and hopefully by now you have considered coming along. I don’t think any of you have ever been mean to us, because mean people typically don’t read blogs Just the Assistants write; they’re too busy reading political sites and posting nasty comments and suing people and stuff. If you’re reading and wondering, “Is she really inviting me?” yes, I’m inviting you, because you’re not the guy who called and cussed James out, remember? However, please e-mail me if you plan to join ( so I know how many seats to save.

Again, the facts:

You, Me, and the Bosses

Thursday, October 18th at 6:30 PM
SPJST Lodge 88
1435 Beall Street, Houston, TX

Please show up with your loan applications already filled out properly, okay? Oh, kidding. Just bring yourself and we’ll all have a grand ole time.

Note: I’d written something hilarious as an ending to the original post, but Chad Helmcamp freaked out and made me write something less funny like this: Now, off to find that guy who cussed James out so we can rig his bingo cards so that he never wins.

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