My new house is almost complete, and I’ve been spending copious amounts of time on home decor websites picking out chandeliers and side tables. I don’t technically have the budget for these new niceties, so I’m doing what I can to save up. That’s why this week I stole my husband’s penny jar he’s had since college and took it to the Coinstar machine at Kroger.
It was not my finest moment. I’ve always imagined Coinstar users as totally desperate. Like, they need the booze so bad they’re fishing in their brother-in-law’s couch cushions for coins. Or like, they need the heat turned back on in their apartment and now they’re cashing in the nickel they found in the parking lot.
I tried to be discreet, but that joker is loud. Like, “Hey everybody, look who needs some crack!” To be fair, yes, I know, crack users can be very nice people. I just didn’t want people thinking I was one of those friendly addicts. I’m a chandelier addict, not a crack addict.
$11.45. My husband has been carrying that penny jar around for over twelve years, and he’s managed to save $11.45. That’s less than a dollar a year. I traded in my receipt for Kroger credit and bought an extra bottle of wine with my eleven dollars. I’ve got to find someone else to steal from.
Speaking of dollar bills, y’all, I found some renters! Remember I was looking for renters? And they’re not shady! They’re like, normal people who will not trash the joint. They’re people who don’t have to frequent the Coinstar for crack, that’s who they are. The best part? It was a dear reader who hooked me up with them. (Thanks, Lynn!) Also, after some discussion, James and Chad decided against firing me for writing an entire post about renting (I think they heard I was using the Coinstar machine and felt sorry for me) so I get to remain Just the Assistant.
If you would like to help me furnish my new home (by buying me this or sending me your penny jar), please fill out a loan application on the right and insert JTA’s
Crack Chandelier Fund in the referred by section. Now, off to peruse the Kroger parking lot for stray nickels.