Water Cooler Moments, and Why the LA Times Owes Me Money

‘Tis a double feature blog today, ladies and gents:

Water Cooler Moments

Andie (our hot, single loan coordinator, as she’s referring to some internet purchase she was considering): Don’t you think this is perfect since I’m single?

Will (V-shaped mortgage banker, totally missing her point): You’re 25 and single? I was married with a kid on the way by then! Har har!

Andie (fuming, desperate to find someone on her side): Hey Nikki, were you single when you were 25?

Nikki (rock star loan processor): Yep!

Andie (with increasing momentum): Jason, when you were 25 were you single?

Jason (online dater, eager to help): No, but I should have been. That girl was crazy!

Consensus: Andie is just fine being single.

Why the LA Times Owes Me Money

Okay, on to business. Remember last year I interviewed Matt Kovach, the most important man at Envoy Mortgage? No? Well read it here. Seems the LA Times totally read my blog and copied the heck out of it, because check this article out: Article in Which the LA Times Copies Me. The LA Times interviewed Matt! Who do they think they are? Next thing you know they’ll be dishing about how much they love Anthropologie and how business dinners make their armpits sweat.

Now that Matt is a high roller, I plan to lasso him into my campaign to force Envoy Mortgage to buy me a ticket for next year’s Circle of Excellence trip (to read just how much I would like to go on this trip, please click here and here and here). Sadly, Mr. Envoy has barred me from this year’s trip, claiming no need for a blogger. Hmph. But that was before Matt Kovach went viral and has all this pull.

Readers, do not worry yourself with filling out a silly loan application this week. Instead, please write Matt Kovach and explain to him how much it would mean to me to attend this magical trip, and what a thorough job I would do blogging about it, and how I swear I won’t drink more than one glass of champagne a night. And would you please remind him that the LA Times apparently reads my blog?

While you do that, I’m off to file a plagiarism suit against the Times. I’ll see you in court.