The Emily Series Part V: The Finale

I mean, seriously, I’m surprised the Days of Our Lives people haven’t called yet. I’ve got a full-fledged soap opera series going here. That’s right – it’s the final installment of the Emily Series. (For those of you new to my fascinating mortgage blog, get caught up on Emily’s adventures here: Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4.) And while you do that, let me back up.

(Cue dream sequence harp music.)

About six months after I started this blog, a reader contacted me about getting a mortgage. It was the happiest day of my ole Bosses’ careers. “Finally! She’s done something that’s helped our business!” they exclaimed behind closed doors. They high-fived me and sent me sweet emails (I asked for flowers but they declined), and they hugged me at the closing and took pictures of me with the smiling readers/borrowers. Later, the ole Boss Chad sent me an email saying, “Wouldn’t it be great if we got one loan a month from the blog!?” Spirits were high, folks. The sky was the limit.

But, uh, the thing is, I didn’t bring them a loan a month. Instead, I wrote about Anthropologie and made fun of my co-workers and read Glamour Magazine while my team worked hard at providing home loans. And that’s why it’s such a big deal that last week, we had another reader close on a loan.

Dear readers, Emily is a homeowner! Here are the facts:

Total houses viewed:  12

Total houses Emily put an offer on: 3

Offers Accepted: 1

Awesome Heights bungalow purchased for a great deal: 1

I showed up Friday to Emily’s closing and pretended I had any business being there. I carried my fancy business lady purse and clasped on the pearls my dad gave me for high school graduation. Heck yes I know what I’m doing at this closing, my attire said. Actually, it probably didn’t because after I shook hands with everyone they all kind of stared for a second waiting on me to announce why I was even there.

Here, Emily signs important papers:


Afterward we drove to Emily’s new digs and opened drawers and opened curtains and squealed and shrieked at how cool it was that she now owns a home.

While Emily arranges painters and tile guys (ever notice nobody ever says, “I’ve got to find a tile lady”) and electricians, let me remind you all of my giveaway that is still going strong (strong as in, like, four people have entered).

Realtors, subscribe to my blog on the right and I’ll enter you to win a Kindle Fire HD. Nobody ever enters my giveaways so you will probably win. Congratulations. (Non-realtors, stay tuned for next month’s giveaway.)

Finally, the ole Bosses have started stocking the break room fridge with cold cuts and loaf bread and organic salad for us to eat. It’s probably because I brought them a borrower (thanks Emily!), but they refuse to confirm it.

Below, John, one of our new mortgage bankers enjoys his Envoy Mortgage Turkey Club:

Envoy Mortgage Turkey Club

Oh and by the way, I just found out John owns two orange cats (just like me!) so he will likely be highlighted more than my other co-workers now, which is probably unfair. I apologize for the favoritism. I’m a sucker for orange cats.

Orange Cats

Okay, you readers enjoy your Tuesday, and if you see this happy chick in front of her new fab house, tell her congratulations!

Proud Homeowner


2 thoughts on “The Emily Series Part V: The Finale

  1. Pingback: Items of Note | Just the Assistant

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