Office News and a Kindle Fire Winner

• We all strolled in the office today to find this:

• Nobody has owned up to it, but I think it’s one of the new folks’ attempts at making our office appear antiquey. Or else the Bosses have hired someone else we’ve yet to meet who is on the smallish side.
• I’m sitting with Hayley in her cube today. This girl’s a maniac! I feel like I’m sitting in a call center. Except Hayley doesn’t have an accent. And she’s explaining home loans to people and not answering questions about internet service.
• Hipster Andie the Loan Coordinator has started baking cake balls for the mortgage bankers to bring to loan closings. They wrap up these cake balls in decorative boxes and present them to the borrower and borrower’s realtor, and now realtors across Houston are trying to score deals with us:

You don’t get this many though. You get like four.

• I close on my house next week. I locked in a wicked low interest rate (and not because I work here – they don’t even give me a desk) because I went with an adjustable rate. Here’s why. I reckon I’ll live in the house I’m buying for around 8 years. If I planned on staying there for the rest of my life, I would have secured a 30-year fixed. But this Just the Assistant is super smart, and since I plan to move or head west or build a new house or start living on the streets when I’m forty, I locked in a 7-year ARM. You can read what that is here.
• James instituted a new office rule: For one hour each morning one lucky person in the office gets to choose the radio station we will listen to, loudly. They even wrote up a rotation and hung it on the fridge. Please note that I am not on the rotation. Please also note that I am going to vandalize the list later today.
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• Everybody is mad at this one service provider with whom we work (I can’t write who it is because they’ll fire me). All my co-workers are eating cupcakes to compensate for the anger. Rachelle claims she is hangry: hungry and angry.
• V-Shaped Mortgage Banker Will got jealous that Online dater Jason won a prize last week and went off and won a prize of his own. It started when he took his family on a cruise, a Disney cruise. On this Disney cruise Will won a plaque that reads, “Beverage Family of the Week.” He’s been quite vague about how he won the award, but I’m thinking it has to do with heavy drinking. On a cruise. A Disney cruise. We’re all so proud of Will and his accomplishments. Will said, “With 3000 kids on a boat, you tend to drink.”
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• We drew a winner for the Kindle Fire HD. Hayley looks the most like Vanna White (in her prime) so I had her draw the winner:
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• Congratulations Eli Torres! If you would like to donate your Kindle Fire HD to my Help Just the Assistant Purchase Bamboo Shades for Her New House Fund, please contact me directly. But if you’d like the stinky ole Kindle Fire, meet Online Dater Jason for coffee sometime soon and he’ll pass along the prize.
• While I go bribe Eli with some of Andie’s cake balls, you all let me know your availability for helping me move. Please include vehicle type, bicep circumference, and overall fitness level. You may or may not be paid in the form of a child’s desk…