Up Your Nose

June 4, 2013

The Bosses and the rest of the team threw a marketing event a couple of weeks ago. They rented out a movie theater (the kind where you get to eat dinner and act like a big shot while watching a movie) and played The Great Gatsby for all their referral partners. This event was a really big deal. We’re not a giant branch here with loads of money lying around (or at least I haven’t spotted it), so to rent out a whole theater was all the talk at the office. We even dressed up like gangsters and gangsters’ wives for it.

The next day, my ole Boss Chad got busy sending me frantic emails. “Are you going to write about the Gatsby event?” he asked. I wrote back, “Hadn’t planned on it, but you’re the boss.”

Later, he called me into his office and went bananas. “Of course I want you to write about it! It was the biggest marketing event we’ve ever done! Blah blah blah…”

Chad doesn’t get it. I told him, “People read this blog because they think it’s funny that Jason is an Online Dater and Nikki pilfers through the trash, they don’t read it to see pictures of our fancy events. That’s boring. We’re not like one of those socialite magazines.”

Oh, well don’t you know that just burned the Boss up. He squinted his eyes and glared at me, shaking his head. And then he said I had to write about it anyway. Pah!

I can’t win ‘em all, folks. Some highlights from our event…

My husband has a trick that he thinks is hilarious. Anytime he can get a hold of someone else’s camera, he likes to take a picture up his nose. He also likes to make his eyes look like a psycho-killer’s when he does this. Then after whatever party we’ve been at, the hosts will get a great surprise when they go to upload their pictures to Facebook and find a “Crazy Up the Nose Benson” shot waiting for them. He has done this at every gathering we’ve ever attended for the past twelve years.

Sometime during the Gatsby event, some poor soul spied my husband not doing anything useful. “Hey Benson, will you take over camera duty?” Always helpful, Benson took the camera.

Well, a few days ago, Front Desk Wonder Lady Christi sent an email out to the whole branch. “Here’s the pictures from Great Gatsby. Enjoy!” Today, I got around to looking at those pictures. Pictures that were sent to our whole branch.

Here are some shots taken BEFORE someone ignorantly gave the camera to my husband:

Oh look, normal pictures of people having a good time and winning giveaways…

Here is a picture taken AFTER my husband took over camera duty FOR MY COMPANY EVENT THAT HE’S NOT SUPPOSE TO ACT CRAZY AT:

And here are some pictures taken after I grabbed the camera out of my husband’s hands and gave it to someone else…

Notice the ticked off guy in the front? That’s Benson realizing that he can’t take anymore booger shots…

Here’s me and Sandra. Sandra is smiling because I haven’t started making fun of her on the blog yet.

Here is my evil ole Boss Chad who wants to take me down. Oh, and his wife. I don’t think she wants to take me down.

Here’s my other mean ole Boss James.

There were lots more people there, but unfortunately another one of my husband’s “hobbies” is taking up the nose shots of other people, so in efforts to not totally mortify those people, we’re going to have to leave them out.

By the way, I’m at 28 people for the Save the Blog event. I need 50. If y’all don’t come, I’m going to lose my job and I’ll end up starting my own blog about my cats, and then you won’t have anything funny to read and you’ll get totally depressed. Help a sister out! (Here are the details). RSVP below, or email me. Off to send an apology email to my entire team for the booger pictures on the shared drive.