Fiddler on the (Mortgage Office) Roof

I was just checking my teeth in my camera phone and all of a sudden I spied a booger and panicked. Turns out, it was a piece of trash on my phone screen. That’s a bullet I hope not to have to dodge again. (The teeth were clean, too, for those of you hanging on the edge of you seats.) Now then…

Sometimes I write about stuff here and my Bosses are like, “Really?” and I start twisting my necklace and am like, “Um, ah…yes?” and they’re like, “Are you trying to get us fired?” and I’m like, “No, but that would be really awesome for our stats.”

I have a lot of freedom on this blog. My Bosses are way cooler than any of your bosses and if you stopped by our office you’d be totally jealous of what we have going here. However, every single day of my life occasionally I just want to talk about myself, and Jesus, and my pets, and hanky-panky. That’s why I started a personal blog in addition to this one. I called it Stuff I Talk About and you should totally read it. I know that’s not an amazing name, but all the cool website names were taken and I had to choose between that and DrunkGoats.info, so please just work with me. And by all means keep reading here, because I’m not going to write about these loons with whom I work on the other blog, and it’d be way depressing if you missed out on stuff like this:

Some guy came to our office and played the fiddle for us. I think he was a friend of Hipster Andie (she would have a fiddler for a friend). Seriously, we were all just sitting here working (well, you know) and all of a sudden Andie starts laughing while looking at her phone. She’d invited her fiddler friend up to the office and apparently the fiddler was on his way. The next thing we know, this guy with a black case comes through the front door, and he has another big guy with him, like a body guard or something.

So the fiddler saunters in, carefully lifts his instrument out of its case, and totally starts playing the office fiddle tunes!

I think somebody was on the phone with a client and was like, “Uh, can you hold on a sec?” because the fiddler got louder and more passionate, bending over and closing his eyes.

(Please note my advanced clip art skills.)

So then the fiddler wraps up his song, takes a bow, and just totally walks out the door! We all kind of looked at each other the way people looked at each other at Super Bowl parties across America that year Janet Jackson showed her boob. Like, Did that just happen? Was that her boob? What was that thing on the nipple?

So what I’m saying is, I’ve got super cool Bosses (and co-workers!). (I just reread that sentence and am starting to feel a bit of conviction about the phrase “co-workers” since I don’t technically do any work. Maybe I’ll just start calling them workers, or the gang. Or chain gang. I’ll stop now.)

Speaking of my, uh, people who I know who work here, Pastor Christi has a new project she’s working on for seminary. Whenever a thought comes to Christi’s mind, she’s supposed to put it on her “mind map.” So now if any of us need advice, we can ask Christi and then just read her mind map. Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot going on in the old noodle today though…

“I got nothin’.”

That’s going to be one doozy of a sermon, Pastor Christi.

Okay peeps. You all have a fine day, keep reading here, and check out my other stuff that may or may not get me kicked out of select social circles. Now, off to sanitize my phone screen.