Still Not Viral (But We Found Our Missing Person!)

I am still officially non-viral. The video I made is resting quietly on YouTube, waiting to be discovered by the masses. Good Morning America hasn’t called. Queen Latifa hasn’t offered me a new job, and I haven’t seen my picture splashed across BuzzFeed. Hey, TMZ? Are you out there?

Until then, dear readers, you are stuck with regular ole me, writing from my cube in the middle of this mortgage office in the middle of Houston. (But hey, if any of y’all know Ellen or any of the folks at HGTV or TLC or Discovery (or what the hay, the WB) could you, you know, pass along my info?)

Now, onto my big news:

We found her! Remember when I wrote a post about Jason’s long lost love (my words, not his)? Read here to get caught up. Well, we found her! Seriously! I received a comment today from someone who ran the conference Jason attended, and in the comment was the hook up info for this girl Jason met! Woop woop! I immediately messaged her and sent her the link to my Missing Person post. As of now, she hasn’t replied. Jason, fearful of seeming like a stalkish creeper, said he’s going to wait and see if she replies to me before reaching out himself. Smart one, that Jason. Later on I’m going to stop by Anthropologie to select a maid-of-honor dress.

Ohmygosh I hope he says yes to this one:

Note to self: Ask Jason what color theme he’s thinking.

Other note to self: Try to remember that people I make fun of sometimes read this blog, like the people who ran that conference. (“Hi Conference People! I’m sure you’re all fab! Really! Yelling is so hip – I swear!”)

One more note to self: Keep in mind that the people I’m making fun of are more powerful than me and likely have attorneys on retainer.

Final note to self: Visit legal websites and beef up on my knowledge of the law.

One more fun thing: The office is getting together with people we hope will send us business our closest friends to play bingo next week and the Bosses said I could invite you. Now I realize what you’re thinking: “Is this chick serious? Play bingo on a Thursday night with a mortgage company? Pfsh.” And I get it, people. But just think, YOU could meet the non-viral YouTube stars who work here! Who knows – I may make another non-viral video during bingo and YOU could be the STAR! What!? Really though, it’s always fun, and they buy you booze, so…

Official Bingo Scoop:

Thursday October 17th

Bingo starts at 6 pm

SPJST Lodge No. 88 – 1435 Beall St.

Okay folks, you brush up on your bingo skills and I’m off to get this dress altered and leave another message with Bravo.