Bulletin: Harold and Hipster Andie
My fine cat Harold went missing this week…
For forty-five minutes.
In those forty-five minutes, I:
- Opened and searched every closet in my house.
- Checked all my kitchen cabinets.
- Looked in the refrigerator (I was desperate).
- Walked my neighborhood calling “HAAAAROLD!”
- Walked my neighborhood calling “HAAAAROLD!” while holding a can of Friskies and clinking it with a spoon.
- Asked my neighbor if he’d seen Harold.
- Texted my husband and told him that Harold was missing.
- Sent a Facebook message to my neighborhood Facebook group asking if anyone had seen my big orange cat Harold.
- Tried to coax my dog into picking up Harold’s scent and leading me to Harold.
- Got teary-eyed thinking of life without Harold.
And then he came home.
Which means I am now in a mental state in which I can think about work.
Hipster Andie has a new role at the office. I do not know the title because I’m not important enough to warrant telling a title to, but I know that she is a bigger deal now than she was five months ago. Here are the facts:
- Andie now has a bigger cube. Bigger cube = Bigger deal.
- Hipster Andie created a giant paper chain representing all the loans she wants our Boss James to provide this year. You may choose to obtain a home loan at a certain time now to coincide with your favorite color on the paper chain. (That last part was my idea.)
- I don’t think the new role called for the paper chain. She just did that on her own.
- Hipster Andie now takes meeting notes in magic markers.
- I think she uses the markers because her new role is major important, and she needs to keep herself grounded.
- I have not confirmed the above bullet.
- But I did take a psychology class in college so I’d say I’m fairly qualified to make these assessments.
- I made a D in the psychology class.
- Andie made cake balls for Valentine’s Day and put them in heart boxes.
- Andie still sits on a yoga ball while she works.
- I fear she is going to injure her back.
- I am not qualified to make this assessment.
- But don’t you think it might be bad?
- Everybody at our office loves Andie.
- Clients crazy-love Andie and send her flowers and candy.
- I ate some of the candy.
And that, my friends, is the scoop. If you would like to send Andie a valentine, please do so in the form of a mortgage application and subsequent link torn from the paper chain. If you would like to send Harold a valentine, please do so in the form of a leash and electric fence so that he doesn’t scare me and my entire neighborhood Facebook group like that again. Happy Friday, loves!