A few months ago I showed up at the office looking like a street dweller. It was the week after I returned from Rwanda and I was still grappling with feelings of guilt over the fact that I own more than one pair of pants and a blow-dryer. Plus I wanted to show off my new African headscarf and handmade beads. So that’s why I rolled in wearing some wrinkled wide-leg pants, an equally wrinkled t-shirt that, in a stroke of fashion genius, was the exact same color as my pants and a grandma sweater that didn’t match anything. Oh, and I hadn’t showered. Then I topped off the ensemble with my African headscarf and beads. And you want to know the first thing Hipster Andie the Loan Coordinator said to me when I came in? “You look SO cute.”

“I look like a homeless person,” I replied. (Note –yes, we all know a homeless person or two and I’m being all stereotypical, but come on y’all.)

“No, you look really cute,” Andie said. Mental note: If Andie ever compliments my attire again, go home and change.

Fast forward to yesterday. As soon as I entered the office I noticed Andie looked totally pulled together. She had on dress slacks, high heels and a cute sweater and scarf set that said, “I am a grownup. I work in a mortgage office with professionals.”

“Andie, you look so nice today!” I chimed, getting ready to ask where she bought her shoes.

“Ugh! It’s laundry day,” she scowled, glancing over her outfit and walking away. It was as if some old fuddy duddy had doted on her top as she left for an ugly Christmas sweater party. Andie’s mental note: If Just the Assistant likes my outfit, store that bad boy in the back of my closet and save it for when I’m seventy and need something to wear to bridge.

Speaking of Hipster Andie the Loan Coordinator, I have a handy mortgage tip for you. See, part of Andie’s job is making sure loan applications are filled out completely. But, you don’t want to go overboard here. Here’s the thing. The way in which you type your name on the loan application is the way in which you will have to sign your name at closing on dozens of documents. I learned this the hard way when I filled out the app for my first mortgage and printed my full name, first, middle and last. Come closing, I wished I’d just used my middle initial instead. There. That’s it. Are you in shock at the wealth of mortgage advice you get here, or what?

Next week I’ll draw the winner of the Kindle Fire HD. Read about that here. I think like seven people have entered thus far, for those of you keeping score.

Oh, and for those of you who went all nuts the other day because I didn’t tell you how much I sold my gold for: $1585. Cha-ching! Now then, while you all tell  me your thoughts on office attire below, I’m off to polish my silver, or whatever it is rich old fogeys do.