The Firelady

First of all, for those of you who are still willing to read my ramblings after knowing I kind of cussed out my Boss, thank you. James was all panicky about me posting what happened, so I lied and told him it’d make us go viral. (It didn’t.)

Now then…

Somebody from corporate was here last week. She seemed kind of important so I interviewed her…

Spill it, Shaw

An interview with Envoy Mortgage Regional Operations Manager, Lynn Shaw

Just the Assistant: First things first, Lynn. Are you my boss James’ boss?

Lynn Shaw: Um, I don’t think so.

JTA: Well listen, if you find out that you are, would you please tell James to give me a permanent cube so I can stop doing this migratory thing? This is my third cube in this office, and I bet you ten dollars he’s going to give it to someone else in the next week.

LS: Well you don’t have anything substantial on it. You should get some really heavy decorations, like statues, and put them on your desk. Then they’ll look at it and be like, “Ugh, I don’t feel like moving all that stuff. Let’s just let her keep it.”

JTA: I like you, Lynn Shaw. Okay, what is your job here at Envoy?

LS: I’m the regional operations manager. I’m looking over the operations in the branches, making sure morale is up, issues are down and fixing any kinds of complaints we may get.

JTA: First of all, I didn’t even know we had regions in this company. What region am I? Second of all, that job sounds horrible because people will only call you when they’re ticked off.

LS: You’re in the Central region. Region 3. It’s not that they call mad. Right now I’m just putting out fires. I’m a fireman. Well, a firelady.

[Note: Microsoft is telling me “firelady” isn’t a word – you’re so sexist, I swear, Word.]

[Other Note: Region 3 in tha HOUSE!]

JTA: Do you have an office or cube?

LS: I have a cube with the rest of the world. I used to sit on a ball sometimes, but I lent it out to someone and never got it back.

[Note: Dear Whoever Stole Lynn’s Ball, give it back, you thief.]

But I work three days a week from home. I took over my husband’s home office (he works from home, too). So now in the middle of the day I’ll hear, “BABE!” and he’ll ask me about lunch. And I’m like, “What did you do for lunch before I worked from home?”

Lynn Shaw is Not the Lunch Lady

He never used the office though. It was just the one room in the house I let him decorate.

JTA: Oh gosh I bet he put, like, an elk head on the wall huh?

LS: Pretty much.

JTA: What do you do for fun?

LS: I like to be outside – camping, swimming – anything outdoors when it’s sunny.

JTA: Do you have pets?

LS: I have a black cat named Cole.

JTA: Aw! I love cats. Speaking of love, who is your favorite branch?

LS: Y’all of course!

JTA: Smart one, you are. Is there anything else you want people to know?

LS: Yes, that I really enjoy reading your blog and that everybody should get three friends to read it, and those three friends should get three friends to read it.

JTA: Oh my gosh, they should give you a raise. Thanks for answering all my questions! Now go answer all those phone calls! Actually don’t. Just help me move this cat statue into my cube, would ya?