Hi readers! Thanks for your patience last week. It’s possible the four of you are presently thinking, “What is she talking about? That nice break she gave us from reading about mortgages?” Yes, that break. I’ve been lounging by a pool in New Braunfels for the past several days sipping mimosas and chatting aimlessly with friends about celebrities’ personal lives and which salsa we like better with which chips. Seems one from our group has a friend of a friend who works in Hollywood, so we had much to discuss concerning George Clooney and Jay-Z.

The weekend was so enjoyable that a solid ten out of the twelve of us discussed buying a vacation home together and dipping our toes in the waters of part-time communal living. I’m telling you, it was a really nice weekend.

While I doubt I’ll take up communal living full time, I don’t doubt that I’d like a vacation home one day that I can share with loads of friends. And while I’m not at the point in my life where I can make that happen, you might be, and you can invite me to your vacation home. And that’s why we need to talk.

I’ve said it too many times already, interest rates are stupid low. Call your dad and ask him if rates are low and see what he says if you don’t believe me. And then consider buying a vacation home. Here are a few tips and tricks to know before you do though.

First of all, in order to buy a vacation home, the place can’t be four minutes from your current home. Some sneaky folks like to try to do that because vacation home loans have lower interest rates than investment homes (which is what a house four minutes down the street is called).  So you can’t be like, “Yes, I know the home is in the Heights, and well, yes, I live in the Heights too. But sometimes I like to vacation in a different part of the Heights.”

But you can say, “I live in the Heights, but want to float the Guadalupe whenever I fancy. I’d like to buy a precious New Braunfels cottage with a double oven and hammock in the backyard.”

Another tricky tip of vacay home shopping: If there is a storm brewing in the Gulf, you will not be able to secure insurance on a home in Galveston. Ah HA!

Here’s why. It doesn’t make much sense for Mr. Insurance Man to insure a home that could blow over next Tuesday when Hurricane Henrietta hits. He’s going to check the weather channel when he gets your insurance application, see Henrietta coming and say, “’Tis a shame.” Then he’ll pull out his big red stamp and pound DENIED on your name.

Now that doesn’t mean you can’t buy a vacation home in Galveston, it just means that you need to be prepared to possibly close on your loan a bit later than you’d planned. (Because remember, you’ve got to have homeowners insurance in order to close on a loan.) If Henrietta is coming, you’ll have to wait until she passes, obtain insurance, and then bring your swimsuits and sunscreen to your new pad.

Okay folks, that’s all I’ve got for today. I e-mailed some fancy questions to our scenario desk at Envoy to find out some more nuances concerning vacay home loans, and I’ll report back to you when I hear something. You’re just dying, aren’t you? Patience, my dear readers! We can’t learn everything there is to know about mortgages in one day.

I suggest contacting my favorite ole Bosses James or Chad directly if you have any mortgage questions. I’ll be busy over the next few days combing the internet for river-front properties that I’d like you to consider buying and inviting me to. Oh, and if you have any George Clooney questions, you go right ahead and give me a call.